I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
