Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
