She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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