So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
