nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
