loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
