some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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