My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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