I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
