i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They are going to name an STD after you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
