so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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