I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
