Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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