dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
