this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
