my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
