Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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