The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Randomize
