this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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