dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
