did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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