Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
