So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
