what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
