I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When are your genitals available?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I came so hard my ears popped.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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