NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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