I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
