Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
