Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
