I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
