I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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