Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
