Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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