No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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