i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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