He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
