just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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