But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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