He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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