found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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