I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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