They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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