Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
