so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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