I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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