her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
