it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
