If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
