idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
