Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
