i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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