What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
