OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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