JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
