Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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