Fuck appropriateness.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
